Painful Admissions
On Wednesday, I had an interview for a summer lab internship. The scientist who granted me this interview told me that no one would let a nobody like me into a productive laboratory, and that someone like me ought to stick to community college classes and science writing. After all, research science is only for the Candid Engineers of this world. There are no fucked-up transcripts in research science.
This took me by surprise. Especially since she had generously granted me this interview in the first place.
I’m not mad, though. No, really. I'm not. First, both my undergraduate and graduate transcripts are disastrous. That last fact is particularly damning, because that transcript is a more recent one that I earned at a substandard state university. What the hell else was she supposed to think? That I'm really not the nobody my transcripts say I am? When she doesn't know me from Eve?! Juniper. Please.
Second, I deeply appreciate this scientist’s valuable time and advice. Yesterday, I mailed her a thank-you note in which I said as much. I meant every word I wrote, too. I know how fortunate I am, not just to have had this interview, but to have the support of several scientists I admire, including the one who made this interview possible. This support alone materializes like fairy godmothers in a Cinderella tale. Miraculous, heartwarming and true.
Nevertheless, I have yet to figure out how to blog constructively about this experience. How much of our interaction do I make public? More importantly, how do I take this opportunity to stop playing at wanting to be a scientist, like I have since I created this blog, and start proving that I’m not and never was kidding around?
I've been trying. The words are presently stuck in my throat.
At least, my wanting to blog about this constructively is more proof of my genuine scrappiness. It is part of my brainstorming what to try next. I’ve never lacked for scrappiness, you know. For starters: it’s part of the package, when one is a black and Korean princess of Nerds.
("Princess of Nerds" in disguise? Apparently. . .)
Stay tuned.
9 comments:
Boo and hiss at that interviewer! Even if that's what she thought that was not an appropriate thing to say within the confines of an interview! If she had to say it at all she could have said it afterwards, via email or something. Unfortunately the plague of the undergraduate transcript will follow you everywhere, you just have to keep chugging until you find someone who can see themselves in you. My most proactive mentors on my behalf were people who themselves blew chunks at undergraduate and knew success was somehow still possible. Unfortunately there are a lot of scientists who made all As and have no concept that someone who didn't can be just as brilliant at research.
Just remember, my cudgel is always at your service!
Wow - that blows. If you're already in grad school, doing well in your program and are enthusiastic about your research, who gives a flying fuck about your undergrad transcripts!? If I had a grad student who was keen, motivated, inquisitive and willing to learn, I wouldn't have a problem taking them on for the summer.
The Farm Animals are at your disposal if you should require their assistance.
Rapport is generally a tonic:
My undergrad transcript is poor. I vomited all over my classes (figuratively, although literally could have been fun) and as such did not do very well in any of them, except the lab courses. When I was hunting for paying research experience right before graduation, I had people turn me down for positions explicitly because of those transcripts. But what's important is that you keep kicking down doors with tact and manners and you will find someone who lets you in. If no other recourse is available, you may try getting in to some kind of husbandry position as it will provide animal handling experience and give you leverage to get into a lab later that needs that expertise and will also teach molecular biology techniques and stuff. Are they also citing a lack of fundamental science knowledge? Because if they are, I am willing to ship you my entire shelf of college science textbooks for your devouring (I never threw any away or resold them -- they weigh about 30kg), except for my Janeway's (I still carry it around with me, although this may be negotiable with cookies).
And if it makes you feel better, this: "black and Korean princess of Nerds" = indelible hotness!
Oh Juniper - I am so disappointed for you. Good for you for taking a constructive approach (whatever that might look like). I think it's a little weird to say such a thing in an interview (and why waste both your time with an interview just to say that). I don't think that one person's opinion is enough to generalize across all of science (no one will let you in? not true. I've seen some pretty terrible transcripts attached to people in tech positions that then made a successful transition to grad school).
Hang in there - try again. You just have be persistent...and we know you've got that one down.
I think you and I are in a very similar situation.
You just want to grab these people, shake them, and yell "Just give me a chance, dammit! Give me a chance to show you how I can throw down some hot science on your ass!"
I have no idea what to say other than, man that sucks ass. But like I said to JLK, if this is what you want, knock on every single door.
First, both my undergraduate and graduate transcripts are disastrous. That last fact is particularly damning, because that transcript is a more recent one that I earned at a substandard state university.
You need to take some advanced science courses somewhere and get decent grades, or these doors are going to keep being shut in your face. This is an unfortunate fact.
I’ve never lacked for scrappiness, you know. For starters: it’s part of the package, when one is a black and Korean princess of Nerds
And you would wonder how I can adore you so. How can anyone not love a scrappy, black and Korean princess of Nerds?
Juniper, if you are serious about getting into science, given your history, you need to PROVE your seriousness to these people by improving your grades. This is a pain in the ass, I realize, but you really need to start from square one.
That being said, I am sorry to hear about the interview, and I have to wonder why she ever even brought you in there to tell you these things. Could have been said over the phone or something, and it would've been a lot less disappointing. Way to go for sending the thank you, though. Stuff like that goes a long way.
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