A Last Observation of Inauguration Day

(Dr. Isis wrote a beautiful post about her observations of Inauguration Day. By request, I am posting my response to it here.

This post is NOT consistently diplomatic. HOWEVER, please do NOT read this as an invitation to a Political Flame War. Be forewarned. I have no interest in one. I will delete all trollish comments without response. Despite the volatility of my feelings, gratitude for the prospect of a better America for EVERYONE made real dominates them. I try, in my real life, to focus on the possibilities.

Okay. Seriously. After this, I disappear from the blogosphere, and I don't return until I complete a certain set of tasks. Why are you people so delightful to blog with? I'm like a crack addict now!)

I think many people possibly misread the enthusiasm Americans express for Obama. I voted for him and campaigned enthusiastically for him, but I never deified him, and neither did many of my fellow campaigners. The enthusiasm arose from what Obama symbolizes to us. Especially to those of us who opposed Bush's election twice and who have been dismayed by the fiscally irresponsible, anti-intellectual, xenophobic, quantity-over-quality, old-school imperialist, anti-Enlightenment, dominionist culture his administration represents to us. We're eager at the prospect of turning away from those things.
Read more. . .

I think Obama is just a good, smart guy in a messy business. I do not expect him to wave a magic wand and part the seas and "fix" America. I never did. Ultimately, I think whatever decisions we make as a country, good and bad, are our collective responsibility. Politicians do what we want them to do. This is still something of a democracy.

I remember vividly that, back in 2003, a good 80% to 90% of Americans in various polls wanted to wreak our fury over 9-11 by going to war. The Bush administration, like every other, did what pleased us at the time. I'm firmly convinced that we'd never have mired ourselves in war if people who wanted it had prioritized our long-term interests as a nation above instant gratification, and if people like me had worked harder to communicate our objections, instead of fearing to appear unpatriotic. Bush was a bad president because we let him be one. That's on us.

To me, and people like me, Obama symbolizes the prospect of unity and hard work among Americans, in an America in which science, manufacturing and diplomacy flourishes, and in which we achieve "national security" by strengthening the fort instead of abandoning it with broken windows and unsupervised bridges to go on military campaigns all over the frickin' world. However, we certainly do not think anyone can really achieve those things but ourselves.

In fact, lately, I've been more nervous than excited. I'm afraid everyone, including myself, will get lazy again, the way we did under the Bush administration, and the country will go down the tubes.

And, you know what? The race thing matters to me too. Obama represents a reason to "keep on truckin'". No matter how much I try to believe I have no need to discuss racism in the 21st century, the petty things sting me like hundreds of mosquitoes:

Yesterday night, some troll bopped on down to my blog to call me a nigger who would never amount to anything. For the record, I really loathe being called a nigger, every time it happens.

I've made the mistake on peeking at the Neo-Eugenics site, over which DuWayne recently expressed concern, that features the authors of The Bell Curve rambling on about how Negroid brains are on average three standard deviations, or whateverthefuck they said, smaller than white people's, which explains why we're stupid and can't enter professions like science, as well as how women of any color can't do math because you need man-sized brains for that. Incidentally, The Bell Curve came out when I was fourteen, and enrolled in a school where I was one of two black people there. I remember people not bothering to read it and still believing that it was "true". I remember only receiving religious reasons, voiced by my Catholic high school's principal, to condemn the book, when I was this borderline working-class kid who wanted facts.

I still regularly encounter patronizing whites (and, sometimes, full-blooded Asians) who don't mind casually entertaining the notion that my genetic material is crap-- and then accuse me of being "illogical" when I have the nerve to feel upset about it. As if one can't simultaneously manage volatile or intense emotional reactions to painful ideas and maintain an intellectual willingness to unconditionally examine the utility of ANY of them! 'Cause, you know, that would be fucking impossible! (There is a reason why I don't read Gene Expression, and particularly articles written by Razib, incidentally. But that's my thing, and I digress.)

In the 2008 election, for the first time, I refused to vote for any conservative candidates. Particularly Republicans. I am entirely socially liberal-- I am pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-stem cell research, pro-meaningful separation of church and state in every respect-- but I value fiscal responsibility and struggle with the idea of taxing the rich more merely because they're rich, and I had felt that Republicans provided important dissent over government spending.

But Republicans have made it clear that they don't give a rat's ass about financial responsibility, and, moreover, they've decided that I'm a nigger who doesn't deserve to be called an American. They have made that explicitly clear, particularly at Sarah Palin rallies. And you can bet your ass I'm still pissed the fuck off about it. You can bet your ass that whenever a white person tells me they voted for McCain, I think, "Well, sure, you're white. Of course you don't have to care. You don't have to care at all. You're probably not even aware that you don't care." You can bet your ass that I think the difference between most Republican whites and people like DM and CPP is akin to the difference between the whites who sat on their hands during the bloody marches of my father's segregated teenhood and the whites who, for some crazy-ass reason, got up when they could have just chilled in their dining rooms and joined those marches. I noticed how all-fired important it became to Republicans to be The Party for American Whites.

Well, in my family, we ultimately ignore stupid racists and keep our eye on the prize, as Dr. Isis says. Dad's always reminding me that it was far worse when he was my age. And Obama can be seen as a symbol of this productive attitude. But Republicans can still suck it. We may be "niggers" to you, but he's still your President, motherfuckers!

You know, when I first came to this thread, all I wanted to say was that, yes, deification of anyone is bad, but I don't think fervent enthusiasm or admiration of President Obama always arises from deification. Which Dr. Isis already said, more or less. So, now, I've a) written you a novel and b) voiced my dislike of specific people's blogs when I want to be a science blogger and therefore generally prefer to keep my dislike to myself. And I've blogged about politics. I've been doing this lately. I have been blogging too much. I need to quit for a few days.